*planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what
its really weird to me that there are some people who are like 0% gay. not even a little gay. i dont trust them
Ah, Bisexuality Day, when Freddie Mercury visits all the bisexuals who’ve been good the past year and gives them presents
Ha ha, I can’t believe you still think Freddie Mercury is real. Everybody knows it’s really your parents.
IT IS FREDDIE. I’VE SEEN HIM! HE COMES TO YOUR HOUSE AND LEAVES YOU OSCAR WILDE BOOKS AND MARLON BRANDO MOVIES.
Dear fat girls wearing crop tops: please. Continue. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t. You’re so fucking cute!!! You look absolutely fabulous, if I might add, and your self worth isn’t determined on how men see you.
The American Hogwarts Houses
Look at your school of witchcraft and wizardry. Now look at mine. Now yours. Now back to mine. Sadly, your school is not mine, but if you all got off your broomsticks and started using a real sorcerer’s deodorant, it could smell like mine. Abracadabra! I’m a horse.
LOOK AT HOW HE’S CUPPING HER JAW, LIKE YOU THINK IT’S GOING TO BE AN AGGRESSIVE KISS BUT IT’S STILL 65% NUZZLE 35% SURFACE LEVEL SMOOCHING, LIKE A BIG AMOROUS PUPPY. LOOK HOW AWARE HE IS OF HER, BACKING OFF, SENSING SHE WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING
HE’S S O C U T E I ’ M D Y I N G
how the fuck do my parents think im going to attract a mate i can’t even attract the waiter’s attention when i want to order and if i do i can’t remember what I want